Hellgate: Chapter Two – And Into the Hellfire

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February 9th cont.

So there I was, running away … strategically … yeah, strategically retreating from the biggest demon I had ever seen. At the time it was the biggest demon, because I hadn’t really seen any demons larger than a mere bulldog. I was clearly in trouble, since it was bearing down on me and all I had were my bolter pistols to try and kill it.

Wait.

I’m an Engineer. I have DRONES for this kind of thing! God I suck at remembering stuff.

This is the ONLY Time I Condone Killing the Messenger

After a few minutes, with their help, there’s one very large DEAD demon in front of me. It collapses with all the grace of a 400 lb. grandmother slipping on the ice and breaking her hip. I breathe a sigh of relief, and then continue to kill the demons and zombies that have respawned on the street while I was busy fighting … whatever the fuck that was. That’s when I noticed all the gear lying around on the ground where the corpse used to be. Holy crap – phat l3wts.

I merely just stuff the crazy junk in my backpack, because all of it is unidentified. I don’t have time to go back and have it analyzed, and I left my analyzer back at base, so let’s just find Russell Plaza or whatever and pick up the lost scientist. Oh, and I feel more powerful. My HUD said I’m now level 2 or whatever.

After taking a left down the street, past a few burned out vehicles, I stop at a familiar sight. There are two British phone booths, totally falling apart where they stand. A true testament to how fall London has fallen in a mere few months.

No Ringy Dingy Dos

Low and behold, there’s the gate to Russell Square or whatev. Finally, all this way for a lousy hat that I haven’t even SEEN yet. I must prevail – or be buried in this terrible helmet. I don’t want that happen, so I hitch up my britches and calmly stride up all manly like and leap through the glowing portal.

Stepping through, I found myself in an alleyway full of – you guessed it – undead and demon whelps. Easy pickings for my drones and bolter pistols. I casually strolled down the narrow side streets, blowing away anything that mov – WHAT WAS THAT? *BLAMMO!* Oh, only a leaf. My bad. Still, it’s pretty easy until I actually reach the square and OMG IS THAT A GIANT ZOMBIE I JUST SHOT?!?!

These Hell Occupation denizens are huge!

Anyway, this one managed to set me on fire not once, but twice, before I put it down. I ran around in squares trying to dodge this maniac, that’s how fast and persistent it was. My drones helped me whittle it down piece by piece until it finally fell over stiffly. AND STAY DEAD, I yelled as I wobbled around, half dead and burnt to a crisp, looking for that careless scientist. Unfortunately, I only find one of his guards sitting on the ground, dying.

WHERE THE FAWK IS FAWKES? I WANT MY HAT, YOU DYING BASTARD!

I hate all of you. Worthless.

Well, I’m back in in the station because I had to bring the scientist’s comm unit for Lann fixing or whatever. Dude, all I want is a new hat. And to sort this l3wts. I guess I can do that until they tell me where to go next…

- Nate (@EmCeeKhan)

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