Customization and Why I Love It

I have to hand it to game designers today who allow people like me to customize our characters/creations down to the minor details. Especially when letting us name things in a video game. I’m pretty sure none of them want to know personally what I’ve named certain things in certain games, and how I vastly abused this freedom to the extreme. Sometimes – when I go back and look at my previous games – I wonder myself just WTF I was thinking when I chose that name. “TMI!” they would exclaim, and they would be in the right.

I shall, however, share a few examples with you, dearest readers.

X-Com: Enemy Uknown

This is the most recent game I’ve played.

EVIDENCE OF ABUSE

My first squaddie was unfortunately named Richard “Dixsnax” Dickenson.

A female squaddie was later named Palmela “Lucky” Handerson.

Other squaddies include -

= Juan “The One” Juanson.

= Luther “” Vandross

= Peter “P3n15″ Tang

Civilization V

One of the many simulation games I like to play.

EVIDENCE OF ABUSE

I renamed my civilization the “Poopsmiths” after a character on HomestarRunner.

Their leader was Abraham Lincoln.

Their biggest achievement was building the Great Wall.

They fought the Romans a lot, because apparently Caesar thought the Poopsmiths were “very offensive” (literally, I guess).

The Sims 3

Another silly simulation game I like.

EVIDENCE OF ABUSE

The entire family I created is named the Handies.

The oldest brother is Lefty.

The youngest brother is Righty.

Their sister is Twosie.

Lefty died in a fire when he tried to make hotdogs in the kitchen with no cooking skill.

Righty somehow got promoted to CEO.

Dawn of War Multiplayer

One of the many tactical RTS I played back in the day.

EVIDENCE OF ABUSE

The entire Chapter I created wore pink armor. It was a Chaos Army chapter.

I named the Chapter “The Asshomers”

I would often make mildly suggestive comments at the other people playing.

One guy reported me to THQ for acting “inappropriately gay” in a match. What that means, I have no idea.

Again, I must commend the bravery of game developers to allow me to name my creations, and I hope it’s a practice encouraged in every game design school across the land. They have opened a can of worms that they cannot hope to reseal. Even if they tossed the entire thing into the vacuum of space.

If they ever make a Saint’s Row MMO (nudge, nudge, wink, wink), I would be in so much trouble. There is no way I could avoid using the words BEEF CURTAINS in my name at least once. I’m sure I would get banned in a flash. I’m surprised I haven’t made a terribly named Star Trek character yet.

Although that’s right around the corner, I’m certain.